If tomorrow starts without me,
And I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I’d have to leave behind;
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I’d always thought,
I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I’d say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven’s gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, “This is eternity, And all I’ve promised you.”
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last,
And since each day’s the same way,
There’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful, So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn’t do.
But you have been forgiven, And now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand, And share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me, I’m right here, in your heart.
I miss you so much everyday,it feels like my heart will break in two.I think back on all the memories we shared some good some bad.I laugh and I cry thinking of those memories.It hurts so much some days I feel I can’t go on, but I do.I know you would want that. As the numbness wears off the pain is so much to bear.
When I was told you were gone I felt like all the wind was knocked out of me.Like someone was playing a cruel joke on me,and really hoping it was.I had to eventually face the harshest reality a parent ever has to face that you were gone.Two words cold,brutal,and true ,you died.There was nothing I could do to protect you ,you were so suddenly, and unexpectly gone.I wanted to just run to you,but because of the distance I couldn’t.I think of you daily and there will always be someone special missing from my life.When I saw your lifeless body laying in the casket, I felt horrified.I tried to keep pretending you were alive and it was a sick joke.I still couldn’t believe that it was you my beautiful daughter was laying lifeless, dead , I went through all the motions I felt numb.As I watched from our car as we drove to the graveyard seeing your casket, I still couldn’t believe this was all real.How could this be you were 26 years old gone way to soon.We still have so many unanswered questions of what happened ,the night you were in the hospital.I wish I could of been there to comfort you ,and at least hold your hand.Then watching your little girl broke my heart, she has no idea yet what she has lost,and for now it’s better that way.Watching her go around after the funeral she reminded me of you when you were a little girl.She is such a carefree little girl the way you were.Phil takes such good care of her.She is the only part of you I have left.Just so you know a day never goes by that I don’t think of you.Missing you so much,I love you Ashly with all my heart and just taking it one day at a time.
To Nicole and Phil who are really missing you !